To Mule or not to Mule... That is the question.

So we first starting having MAYJ fashion hard-ons over mules when we saw them on the Alexander Wang runway a couple weeks ago. 

People were like "HOLD THE PHONE!"

"THE GAME HAS CHANGED!"

 I admit, it's a cool concept. I like the sharky fin going up the front. It's interesting. You can get these babies here (moda operandi) for a cool Grand $$$$.

So then the rash of mules spread across the globe.
"OOOOH, THEY'RE SO INNOVATIVE!"

But take a look at these, by Costume National...

 It's really just a bootie without a back. THAT IS ALL PEOPLE. *simmer down*

Fashion Girls have loved the bootie for awhile. Alexa Chung rocks the shit out of them. Fashion-bloggers worldwide wear the bootie with their skater-skirts in their #ootd 's.

Here is a 2014 mule by French Connection, below. Do we not remember these from the 1990s?

 I think Lisa Loeb wore a pair of these exact shoes. she was so cute.

Stella McCartney made this ingenious shoe hybrid... The mule that CONVERTS into a "shootie". Fucking technology, yo.

Why do we like these? I bought a pair of black booties last year so I could be cool. They are actually a rad pair too, but whenever I wear them I feel like a *damn fool*.

I mean look at Kimmy here. You cannot tell me that the ankle bootie she has on has any leg lengthening properties.

and in turn, the mule on Selena Gomez here, even though she obvs is channeling literal 90s, would never be my shoe of choice. 

she has beautiful legs, why make them look shorter than they are?

I don't understand! What do you think? Help me understand!