Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Met Gala *Worst Dressed* - The "Shark Jumpers"

When I first heard about the Met Gala theme for this year "Punk: Chaos to Couture", I KNEW that some people would go overboard and Jump that Shark SKY HIGH. Here are the worst offenders. 

1. Elle Fanning in Rodarte 
 I mean, this girl is like 10 years old. The most punk that she's ever seen has been the Monster High dolls...
So I know for a fact that someone dressed her in this. And that person should go to Fashion Jail FOR LIFE. (how dare you do that to that poor little girl, for SHAME)

2. Ginnifer Goodwin in Tory Burch
 When I first saw this photo, I laughed out loud, seriously. Look how *serious* and *angsty* she is. Why didn't she go for the full monty and draw Xs on her hands and pierce her own nipple with a safety pin? ahhahha. so awful. AND she wore TORY BURCH, the true antithesis of anything punk.

3. Kerry Washington in Vera Wang
 The most beautiful beauty on Earth, but man o man, this is just trying so hard it hurts ME... She had colored streaks in her perfect hair, the leather gloves... and then a floral brocade with a PEPLUM? WHAAAAA???? so bad.

4. The COUP DE GRACE of alllllll TERRIBLE MET GALA FASHION.... Madonna in Givenchy
Not since the horrific atrocity of her Cub Scout Uniform (see it here) have we seen anything so tragic. I mean, Madonna, you are MADONNA. You don't have to pathetically try sooooooo hard to get our eyes on you, WE ARE GOING TO LOOK ANYWAYS!! I don't know if her getting older is making her try to cling to some ridic interpretation of youth that she falsely believes in, but this is just a shame. I mean, Madonna, just think of other Icons and how they do it. Just be you, that is enough. Stop trying so hard.

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